Untold Stories Of The Pack

As a child, you are new to the world and do not know anything. So in order to learn and comprehend your surroundings, you need guidance. Some kids do not have the priviliege of growing up with their parents and have to miss out on opportunities as well as operate on their own. Senior, April Gonzalez says, the toughest challenge she has have faced was, “not having a mother growing up and yes it’s a very common thing many kids go though, but I was a mother figure to my siblings for some time without ever knowing what a mother figure was and to this day I don’t really know what a mother is. I think it’s my toughest because my “mother” dealt with a lot of addictions like drugs and drinking. She was a lot of things, but a mother wasn’t one at least not when I was younger. Sure she had moments where she was there, but it wasn’t enough in a way because I grew up not knowing a lot that a mother should’ve shown her daughter, and I will never have that mother daughter connection or love that most kids have these days. One other thing that’s really hard to deal even to this day is mothers day, seeing everyone posting their moms and relationships with them and seeing people so happy and having real deep loving connection is something I wished to have one day so i always told myself “not every kid gets a parent who’s meant to be a mother”.I never really overcame it. I kind of just push the hurt and mixed emotions down to where I can’t feel them and just live my life to avoid thinking about it.”

This leads to a bit of advice Gonzalez would have to give to those also dealing or having the same feelings. She said, “I would definitely say take pride in the hard things you go through and the demons and problems you fight whether people know or don’t. You fighting and still trying with all odds against you is the strongest thing you can do because not many people have the strength or right mental capacity to be able to fight through things. Life will kick you down and tear you apart and make you fail but failure and failing is such an amazing thing because it’s what makes you different from others because you will grow and succeed in many different extraordinary ways from your peers and it will set you on your path, from there on out you choose what you want to do and what you don’t.”

Although Gonzalez did not have her mother present while growing up, she still would like to mention those she is thankful for. “I am thankful for My Grandma, father, and friends. My grandma because she’s always been there and never stopped being there. She rescued me in ways she doesn’t know about and saved me from a very low point in my life. My dad also sacrificed so much just to give us the bare minimum and to make sure we had what we needed to be okay. Whether it was a few toys or clothes that our birth mother struggled to provide he’d always send what he could and even when we lived with him he’d buy us things and made sure we were set straight for school and life. He did his best to give us a better life then he had he wanted us to be better than he was so he fought for us and our education, so we can be something in life because then he’d feel that he succeeded and did well in raising us.Friends because well some not many but around one to two that are in LA, which have never left my side and they understand why I’m difficult and the way I am they understand my “issues” and don’t leave when things get hard rather they stick around and help fix things out so I won’t go through things alone, but when you have been through so much at such a young age you learn that all you have is yourself so you go through things alone and you fight your battles on your own”, emphasized Gonzalez.

As a result of learning to go through struggles on her own, Gonzalez is finishing off her senior year nicely as she has been accepted into, “Cal State University of Dominguez Hills, Cal State University of Bakersfield, and Community College of Bakersfield”. The struggle people may wonder about is what she is most proud of, Gonzalez said, “Getting back on track. From the year 2019-2020 I struggled fighting depression and anxiety and the world-wide pandemic didn’t help. I didn’t care for school one bit and it hit me hard in 11th grade that I needed to step up and fix myself to be something and someone in this world to make it a better place. I was missing 30-40 credits and had to retake about three to four classes to be able to graduate which at the time I felt was hopeless, and so did many people because of my past, but I had people in my corner like my counselor Mrs. Gonzales who never gave up on me. She helped create a plan to make sure I walked that stage so I pushed through and did summer school, took extra classes while helping my family and friends, working a job all too caught up and now have a 3.0+ gpa and getting accepted to three out of the four colleges I applied for. I’d have to say I have this opportunity all thanks to Mrs. Gonzales for pushing me to my best ability.” 

Lastly, creating the question of what are her plans after high school? “I plan on going to Bakersfield Community college and to make something out of myself, either as a social worker to save kids to stop them from going through what I did and try to find them a better life then leaving them with an unfit parent(s). Or a lawyer to fight for people’s justice and help them out in any way I can,” says Gonzalez.